I never fully understand why people cannot talk about death on a proper intellectual sense. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my own emo like trope surrounding it.. i..in my emo days, and were evidently apparent whenever my mental health takes a downturn for the worse. But what I don’t understand is that people can never properly talk about death entirely, like the whole thing in itself is taboo because it does personally feel to me like people fear that idea quite a lot.
Nobody initially wants to die, and those who do are usually at a point where situations have not fallen favourably for them. But the final moments in the buildup to death is understandably something people can be scared of. But then, you’re dead. Did all that fear really matter? Did it change anything? No. Because you’re dead. So why not use this to live life your way? Everything will be forgotten within years rather than a generation, so you might as well add meaning to your life you know?
I’ve had conversations with friends which always made them worry for me, and incorrectly so. I’m rather aware that I could die at any point, even while writing this. There is no guarantee to life at any point. It’s only recently realised that despite the obvious negative viewpoints surrounding that mindset, there are a lot of pros too. You can at least die doing what you like. Anything that you feel would embarrass you wouldn’t matter anymore. It may feel like ages, but people forget, they have other things to think about. I didn’t mean that to sound demeaning, it’s not. But, its life. Sometimes we get hung up people, other times we can easy discard communication without warning to others.
Which brings me back to the point about talking about death. It genuinely gets me riled as to how easily people will bicker and fall out over the most mundane of situations. They never speak again, and then boom, one of them is dead.
Cue the superlatives of how the other person wishes they spent time with the other before their passing. And it’s why I think it’s an issue that people choose to ignore the prospect of death wherever they can. I’ve taken a few burned bridges really badly previously and has caused genuine emotional distress. But looking back on that, I think it was because for me, it was the not being present for anything up until their death. This involved in previously declared “for life” friends. I think, for others it’s more, “Fuck you, you’re out of my life”, but I wonder if other people think of that as in, “Shit, I will know absolutely nothing about you until someone tells me you’re dead”. Imagine losing a relationship in whatever format it is, to some potentially small thing (dependent on situation, obviously) and then that’s literally the last memory you have with them?
You can’t have life without death. It sounds obvious, but at the same time, you’d be surprised as to how many people don’t know that. Lemme elaborate. For instance, if you focus on the life side too much, then your final moments will be genuinely horrific, and I genuinely believe that. Even just accepting that one day it will end is enough. For instance, people assume that their deaths will be nice and comforting, surrounded by friends and family which is obviously ideal. Some people will dream of it, but a fair few won’t get that at all. So whenever a loved one is lost, people are just emotionally donkey punched, because it’s the whole covering death thing. I’m not saying you want them to die, of course not, you want to make the people you love around be around as long as possible. But my issue is people assuming that it’s guaranteed. Nope, all you can do is contribute to the longevity as best as you can through life lessons, seeing them more etc.
On the flipside, just thinking about death with the absence of life is a sure fire way to see the bleakness in life. Shout out to the old emo days. I guess it’s finding the balance, actually, not even that. More a 60/40 split of loving life, but being aware of death at all times, and not being that affected by it. For instance, say you wanted to do skydiving but you didn’t because you’re scared you’ll die from a parachute malfunction, you not doing that jump does not exempt you from death. So, ideally you can teach yourself to put the fear to one side and just…go with it. It’s like terminally ill patients, so many of them have this second wind and do all this shit they never previously cared to do, or did but just never made time.
There it is. There’s the point I was trying to make, I knew I’d get there eventually. Ok wait, lemme make it pretentious for you now.
Nobody wants to die, or at the very least should want to die. But we all are. It’s inevitable. But you might as well use this time to have a good time. Fuck your self-doubt. You only have one shot, now’s a good as a time as any to own your life. The wanting to delay death is not something to fear, you should see it as a middle finger up to The Reaper and trolling it by doing all the stuff you want to do.
I think it’s a nice way to look at it personally. Shame I haven’t met anyone else yet who thinks like this. Death isn’t scary. Especially if you do it like Tony Montana. Gawsh, what a way to go.